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Gaze

May 11, 2008

As many of us know, our body language can portray a message without words ever being spoken. Eyes are the windows of the soul, they provide social information to the person you are listening and talking to. Too much eye contact you could be seen as aggressive, too little eye contact you can be seen as having no interest in the person speaking When you meet new people.

Measurement of eye contact:

Pupillometrics, refers to the evaluation of one’s pupil size as an indicator of interest or emotion. When someone looks at something that causes positive feelings, the pupils dilate, whereas the pupils contract when the person looks at unpleasant or uninteresting things.

Pupil size isn’t the only way your eyes communicate. The direction in which someone looks while talking can also speak volumes. As you’re probably aware, the brain is divided into two hemispheres. The left is primarily responsible for logic and analytical thought, while the right is where emotional and creative thinking occur. Because the right brain governs the left side of the body, we tend to look to the left when using our right brains and to the right when using our left-brains. Which means that when we’re trying to remember something we usually look to the left.

To make even more interesting to you guys, looking upward means that a person is using images or visual memories. Looking downward is associated with emotional memories, while looking directly left or right usually means the person is processing auditory data.

In addition to eye movement, there is a glow and “light” when the mood changes. Who are happy and content, there is a certain glow in their eyes that cant be ignored. And, for those who are depressed, the glow or “light” of the eyes tends to be faded from sight.

Four Ways to improve your eye contact skills

1. Talking to a group. When talking to a group it is great to have direct contact with your listeners. This way you are talking to all and keeping them all interested.

2. Talking to an individual. It is great to maintain eye contact when talking to a person however it can become a bit creepy if you stare intensely at them. So try to break eye contact every 5 seconds or so. When breaking the eye contact don’t look down as this might indicate the ending of your part of the conversation. Instead, look up or to the side as if you are remembering something, when your listener sees this they will think you are trying to remember something and keep on listening to you.

3. Listening to someone. The technique I use when I am listening to someone is to use what I call ‘The triangle’. This is when I look at one eye for about 5 seconds, look at the other eye for 5 seconds and then look at the mouth or forehead for 5 seconds and keep on rotating in this way. This is a great way to keep the talker talking and to show them you are interested.

4. Attracting someone. When you are trying to attract someone and show them you are interested you can talk and listen with your eyes. Listen to what they are saying, smile in the appropriate places, Smiling when listening to someone is a great way to show you are interested in them.

One of the most wonderful things in nature is a glance of the eye; it transcends speech; it is the bodily symbol of identity ”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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